Awake!

Today Reed stayed awake and alert for the longest amount of time ever - almost 3 hours. He had had a pretty good night sleep (nursing x2) and a short nap in the morning (8:30 -9 ish). Around 10, we figured he must be tired because he has never lasted much past 30 minutes awake time so we put him in the swinging car seat chair and waited for him to doze off. Instead, he stayed awake - calm and alert without complaining or falling asleep, just chilling out. After an hour or so of that he finally started fussing -- we thought, he finally must be ready to sleep right? Nope, it was just a blow-out poopy diaper. I changed him and noticed he was still not asking for a nap, so I took him outside for some naked time. Here he stayed pleased as can be for another hour and a half - a total of 2.5 hours awake! Finally I noticed he was looking sleepy and got him swaddled and rocked him for 2-3 minutes and he conked out. What a day so far!

[Happy naked times on the porch]

[Intent on controlling his head]

So many things have changed in our lives. But for today I am most aware of the fact that we no longer have a schedule to count on. This is both exhilarating and challenging for me (kris)- an eternal scheduler. Before having him, we'd heard from several seasoned parents that your life is completely rocked upsidedown for the first few months and will never be the same, but you don't really believe it until you live it. Each day is totally different from the next which means we are learning to go-with-the-flow more now than ever before and are following Reed's lead most of the time. I find that letting go of my expectations of getting anything done in a day is helpful at this point. Going grocery shopping, walking Samba, cleaning the house, are all bonuses but not absolutes. We are both reading a lot more than ever though as we push his hammock bed, so that's nice.

[This is when you can tell he is in his deep sleep]

[Brilliant solution to holding the pacifier in for nap time]

Life at 6 weeks

Reed is taking a nap, which I'm quickly discovering is one of the only times I can sit down to write these updates. Life at 6 weeks is exciting and sometimes challenging (but in the best way)! We understand that his rhythms and particularities at this point in time may change, but we feel good each time we unlock another piece to the puzzle and build slightly more confidence.

Even though it seems there are some things we can count on like happy alert time after feeding or 3-4 hour nap around 6pm, each day is totally different from the next. He is still a good eater and pretty sound sleeper at night and during the day he is becoming so much more interactive and engaged in everything going on around him. I have started talking to him practically all the time. I basically narrate what ever I am doing to or with him and most of the time he seems interested. I am reading a book called the Baby Whisperer and one of the things she tries to hammer home is the fact that "the baby" is his own little being with his own personality, likes and dislikes and deserves the same respect you would give an older child or adult. She asks, would you just start undressing an older child or changing an older child's positions without explaining why? Probably not right? So why do we think we can do these things with babies and not tell them why? Although I'm pretty sure Reed doesn't understand the words I use, I like the idea of getting in the habit of talking to him and letting him know what to expect next.

In addition, he is holding his head up for several seconds and turning it from side to side when he's on his tummy. He seems to like this time and I would project that he is proud of his new accomplishment. His neck is getting stronger and so are his legs. He often kicks the chair or couch arm when he's nursing and knocks himself off my breast, I swear sometimes he laughs a little when that happens because he knows that I will put him back on in no time and he likes this little game between us. I am really enjoyng nursing him especiall when he looks up at me and reaches his arm up near my face as if to say "thanks mom"... it's really precious time.

[Holding up his head]

As of August 24th he weighed 10lbs 5 oz and any signs of thrush are completely gone. His is basically thriving according to our pediatrician. He sleeps 4-5 hours between feedings at night and 3 (or so) hours during the days. He is becoming more aware of our dog Samba and she seems more interested in him too. There have been some sweet moments with the two of them on the floor looking at each other.

[Quality floor time Samba and Reed getting to know each other]

As for us, I am doing well and now completely recovered from the birth. B and I have finding some time to spend together as well. One of our favorite times has been going in the hot tub at night after we put Reed down. He rigged up a psudo baby monitor by using our two cordless home phones so we can enjoy it and not worry about what's going on inside. It has been fun to watch the Olympics together over the past few weeks but I'm glad they are over. There were too many late nights and now that we are getting to bed earlier we are feeling better at dawn when he is ready to get up.

We are also finding plenty of time for outings including walks, farmer's markets, parties, dinners, errands and movies! That's right we went to a movie last night at the El Cerrito Speak Easy. This wonderful theatre allows babies under one year in free on Tuesday nights for "Baby Brigade". We saw Dark Knight and even amongst the crying and cooing of all the babies in the audience, we loved it. Incidentally, Reed slept the whole time - what a trooper.

[Hanging out at the farmer's market]

[Reed amongst the ladies at Alita's 1st b-day]
more pictures of her party here

Time has flown by and Billy goes back to work tomorrow - Reed's 6 week birthday. Of course I knew this day would come and I am so thrilled with how much time he has had with Reed during these past 6 weeks. They have an incredible bond and they just seem to understand each other in a way that no one else does. It's really beautiful. Yet, now it will be just Reed and I during the days which will be hard for me but harder for Billy I think.

In other news, we are feeling good as far as house projects go. Billy has become quite the expert carpenter and is having fun finding projects to work on that are easy to drop at a moments notice to spend time with the boy. Pictures of some of his recent projects coming soon....

[Busy? sure, but plenty of time to climb a tree]

Meeting Hsiu-Li

[Reed in our midwife Hsiu-Li's arms]

Yesterday Reed met our wonderful midwife and the woman who helped bring him safely into the world. He was in great spirits and was happy to have her hold him. It was so nice going back to that office and sharing him with all the staff there. They treated us so well for each and every visit, and seemed genuinely thrilled to meet Reed and see us again. In her office there are pictures of hundreds of babies and their parents on the wall and she tells us she remembers each and every one of their births. We believe her!

Hsiu-Li was happy with how much he had grown and commented on how he no longer looks like a newborn. It was fun to hear her version of my labor and delivery too. She remembered many details and praised us for staying home as long as we did and for how fast it went (which we didn't have control over, so probably didn't deserve any praise:-). When it was time to go, we hugged and assured them we'd see them in a few years (for our second!)

Smiling at 5 weeks!

Some sweet moments of what sure looks like intentional smiling to us :-)

It's what sets us apart...

A smile is one thing that set's us apart from all other mammals and any other animal that I know of. They say that "you'll know when" it's a smile and not some other poop-pushing lip curl or soemthing. I think we are somewhere in between right now. So with no further suspense, here is part 1 of trying to get Reed to smile. Should be a few more parts to come so stay tuned!

Lunar month

[Under the moon light]

Tonight will be the next full moon since Reed's birth. We did not have a moon view from the hospital room so we wanted to be sure to catch this one. So last night our friends Ryan and Kate met us at Sibley park where there is a perfect spot to watch the sun set and the full moon rise. It was a warm and windy evening and Reed cooperated beautifully under the moon light.

Sitting here feeling grateful

No pictures this time, just a few thoughts that I wanted to get down so as I don't forget them.

Yesterday I had my first experience with an inconsolable Reed. He was obviously very tired, but try as I may, I could not help him calm down enough to go to sleep. Billy had gone away on a short bike ride - although it felt like hours, it was really only 1 hour or so- and I had just put Reed down for his evening nap. After 15 minutes of what I thought was sleeping, he woke up screaming and didn't really stop screaming for 45 minutes. I tried to bounce, shush, rock, walk, nurse and swing and aside from when he was nursing he continued to scream. It was my first time where I wondered if he was in pain or if something serious was wrong.

Billy came home just after I had got him down again, and was there when he woke up 10 minutes later. He took over from there and agreed that he had not seen him this way before either. B stuck with the swaddle, shush, swing routine and finally got our overly tired boy relaxed enough to fall asleep.

I can't imagine how hard it is for new parents whose kids have trouble calming down regularly or simply cry a lot and there is nothing you can do. I felt completely wrecked and already at a pretty frazzled point and it had only been 45 minutes. Further, I am so grateful to be doing this with such an awesome partner like Billy and I now have more empathy for single parents.

I write this more for myself than for you readers because it made me feel go incredibly grateful that Reed is consolable and able to calm down pretty easily for the most part. I admit I felt anxious that this may be his new way of being in the world, but I quickly realized that that is not helpful thinking and I shook myself out of it. He is such a wonderful kid and these difficult moments act as a bit of a reality check for us which, upon reflection and a little bit of sleep. I appreciate now.

signing off, k

River kids

Last weekend we had our first overnight adventure at the Russian River. We invited Molly, John and Maya, as well as Ben, Karen and Carter for a day of playing in the water, nursing on the river bank, sharing a pick nick lunch and enjoying a shady spot under an umbrella on a hot summer day. Several of us commented on how nice it was to have the warm air and cool fresh water combination.

Reed, Maya and Carter all tested out the chilly water for themselves. Carter loved it! Reed and Maya tolerated it but didn't know quite what to think. There were lots of fun new sounds the babies seemed to notice as well, especially many new bird noises. After a decent night sleep Reed was bright-eyed and bushy-tailed at 6:30am so B and I took him out to the front deck over looking the river and we watched Reed as he heard hummingbirds, blue jays and hawks for the first time. He was very alert and engaged in looking up at the trees as if he could see every living thing in them. It was really fun to experience all the new sounds, smells and sights through his eyes.

[Our little curious one]

It was a great first time away from home overnight and gave us confidence that we can do it again - perhaps next time for 2 nights!

[Babies on the river]

[Naked tummy time]

More river pictures here smugmug

Reed goes to the Conga Lounge

We are becoming much more mobile these days so when a group of friends from SW school invited Reed and I to a local bar/restaurant, I decided to take a chance. On the way to the bar Reed erupted with hunger and needed a change but after a quick stop on 52nd St where I fed him in the back seat and changed him in the trunk, he was good to go. It turns out that the sounds of a bar are the perfect white noise for a baby to nap to. When we got to the Conga Lounge he was sound asleep and stayed that way until I got home. It was a great first time out with friends!

Great-grandma Nana's gift

My Nana Walton (Reed's great grandma) is an amazing quilter and has made a bed quilt for all of her grand children and now great-grand children. Reed's beautiful quilt is the latest addition to her impressive collection. His cousins Calin and Teagan (4 months his senior) have their own quilts too see here. We feel so touched to be able to share this family heirloom with Reed, and for him to know that it was made with such love from a very special lady. Thank you Nana!!!

[Reed's special gift from Great-grand nana]

[Here is the artist herself - alongside my grandfather at our summer lake cabin]

Our cancer baby hits the water

Reed's astrology sign is a cancer (crab) June 21-July 21, so when we gave him his first bath and brought him to the ocean for the first time, it was no surprise that he seemed quite content. The bath went well, he was very calm and seemed to enjoy the warm water on his skin. The day at the beach was wonderful (although perhaps a bit ambitious for 2.5 weeks old). It was a little hard keeping him out of the windy sand and sun at first, but eventually we settled into a cozy and sheltered spot and camped out for a few hours. Billy played with Samba while Reed and I sat overlooking the ocean and listening to the waves. It was pretty perfect.





On the way back from the beach, we stopped by the spot where we were married on Mt. Tam. It was exciting to bring Reed to the place where we promised our lives together and shared our desires to start a family.

[The picture is dark, but we're standing on the spot we got married with Reed in the car seat]

He has been showing off his vocal cords. His sweet coos, and squawks are getting louder as are his cries. He makes grunting noises whenever I wrap him up in the moby wrap, he makes little coughing noises in his sleep, and at least 3 times a day he gets noisy little hiccups.

Reed also said goodbye to his aunt, uncle and cousins who moved to Portland on Friday. The goodbyes were harder for his parents than for Reed. We are sure going to miss those guys!

more pictures of Reed's 3rd week here and the Starr/Schnell family goodbyes here